Tidbits of Recovery – #11


To our daughters the word perfection is a nasty word, because it reminds them of their childhood, when Mom was a real freak about LOOKING perfect. Sad thing is, that wasn’t about BEING perfect. I did my best always to dress them perfectly, keep them perfectly coiffed, and demanding that their childhood behavior was perfect. Adding to my own issue was the fact that I had been raised with two perfectionist parents and two likewise perfect grandparents. The house had to always look just so, and so did we, so that the neighbors wouldn’t talk about us. My grandfather was such a perfectionist, that we used to say that he “gift-wrapped the garbage” before he took it out to the large cans. I had to take a look in the mirror at my need for perfection.

While the world tends to teach us, especially women, that we need to dress, do make-up and manicure our fingernails and toenails perfectly, we are not taught to behave perfectly! These days, personal conversation is rare, and the ever-present cell phone is ALWAYS in our hands. People go somewhere to visit with friends or relatives, and the ever-present cell phone is constantly watched or fiddled with, even when sitting is someone else’s parlor or family room. How rude! The message given is: “You aren’t important, but my phone and those who might contact me by text surely IS of primary importance.”

Take a look at how you behave with your phone. Who might you be snubbing in preference to your phone. Might they be the very ones who would comfort you when you’re hurt or stressed, or provide for you when you are needy?

Take a second look at how you perfectly (or imperfectly) respect others. Might you need to be a bit more “perfect” in your cell phone habits?